So I'm not exactly sure what it is but I guess something about me just pushes people away or agrivates them. Maybe that's why a boy in my grade brought up something about me from freshman year and called me a slut in front of people in my class. Maybe that's why my boyfriend keeps lying to me and I can't tell him anything without him going around and telling someone else. Maybe that's why only one of my friends will answer the text when I try to get us to all hangout. Maybe that's why I go home strait to my room with no calls and only one or two word answers when I text someone.
abusable, easily forgotten, taken advantage of, no one wants to talk to, loser.
Crying usually makes me feel better but lately I've done it so often I never want to again.
Tears I was reluctant to shed dripped down my chin and landed in the crook of my collar bone as soon as that boy opened his mouth. My boyfrind keeps lying and hurting me again and again and I call him crying saying that things need to change for real this time. I hang up the phone and let real tears flow because I know that call was just a waste of breath. He doesn't care how I feel, no one does. I try to make an effort to hangout with my friends but all but one seems to just shut me out and push me away. Most of the time they don't even answer.
So here I am alone in my room like it's destined to be. I just can't wait until a year and a half from now where I start running and never look back. I'm done being this hampster on a wheel going in circles with the same problems. I need space, time, and new places to get me out of this slump. I hate highschool and if these truly are the best years of your life then I have nothing to look forward to, but I know it will all get better once I get away from this place.