looking at pictures at me and my best friend honestly makes me a little jealous. she's so skinny, with long legs, blonde hair, and a gorgeous smile. i honestly look like some sort of chubby rodent next to her. the sad part is she is always complaining about how she thinks she's not pretty. she always thinks that pictures of her are ugly, when in fact they couldn't be more opposite. i would trade places with her any day. i'm trying so hard with running everyday and eating healthier. i guess i'm just one of those people who will never be skinny and beautiful. like i don't understand why some people are just born looking like supermodels like my best friend and my mom. i'm the only person in my family who isn't a twig. why can't i just be like them. that's all i fucking want. i'm tired of clothes not looking good on me. i'm tired of only being able to wear certain things because of my thighs. i'm tired of feeling disgusting when i look in a mirror. i'm tired of wishing that i was someone else. i'm tired of having fat legs. i'm tired of not being able to be comfortable in my own skin. i'm tired of not wanting to wear a bathing suit in public. i'm tired of not being able to wear a size small. i'm tired of seeing all of this fat on my body. i'm tired of feeling ugly. i'm tired of being jealous of other people. i'm tired of being unhappy. but most important i'm tired of feeling out of control.